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Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager

by Michael Lopp

The Management Quiver

1. Don't Be a Prick

• A great manager is someone with whom you can make a connection no matter where you sit in the organization chart.
• You must see the people who work with you. Constructing an insightful opinion about a person in seconds will make you a phenomenal manager.
• It is your full time job to listen to your employees, to mentally document how they are built, and to fulfill their needs.

2. Managers Are Not Evil

• The what-do-you-do disconnect between employees and managers is at the heart of why employees don't trust their managers, or find them to be evil.
• Run away from any evil manager, or someone who puts themselves before their team, who lie, and who have no ability to lead.
• Because you don't understand what someone else does at your company, you're automatically biased against them. And because you understand your job intimately, you believe it's more important.
• Tell your manager what you do and why it matters. If they aren't an engineer, find a way to speak their language.
• A manager's job is to take the skills that got him promoted, and make them scale. This means building a team to reinforce where he is weak.
• Regardless of the relationship with your manager, you'll speak differently to him than you would to a friend, because he's part of the organization.
• As a manager, you carve out time for regular one-on-ones so that you have a chance to learn.
• Delegation is a slippery slope for managers, because pure delegators are slowly becoming irrelevant to their organizations.
• People who work for pure delegators don't rely on them for work because they can't depend on them for action, which pushes that manager out of the loop.
• Politically active managers may be slimy, but they are informed, and they know when change is afoot and what action to take to best represent their organization.
• The organization's view of your manager is its view of you. Judge his clout when interacting with his superiors, or with his cross-functional peers.
• Your manager is not a manager until he participated in a layoff, or participates in the constructive deconstruction of an organization.
• You want to see who your manager will become because it's often the first time he sees the organization is bigger than the people.
• A successful organization is built of layers of people glued together with managers, who translate between layers in both directions.

3. Stables and Volatiles

• The birth of a 1.0 launch initiates the split of a development team into two groups: Stables and Volatiles.
• Stables happily work with direction, appreciate plans, calmly assess risk and mitigate failure, and tend to generate process.
• Volatiles have issues with authority, seek a thrill in risk, build a lot but nothing stable or beautiful, aren't reliable, and leave a trail of disruption.
• Volatiles turn into Stables by building process and carefully describing how things should be done, because they have the scars and experience.
• These new Stables hire people who are familiar, who are predisposed to be Volatiles, which in turn leads to new disruption.
• A Stable's choice of disruption is within the context of the last war, while a second-generation Volatile will remind you "there is no box."
• As a leader, you need to figure out how to let the Volatiles disrupt, while constantly negotiating a temporary peace treaty with the Stables.

4. The Rands Test

• A growing group needs to continually invest in new ways to figure out what it is collectively thinking, so everyone knows what's going on.
• When shit hits the fan, don't cancel your one-on-one with folks who are responsible, or with folks who can prevent future fan hittage.
• In a team meeting, kill lies, and identify what is broken and start discussing how to fix it.
• The presence of status reports comes down to control, a lack of imagination, and a lack of trust in the organization.
• Be comfortable saying "no" to your boss. If you are always on your best behavior and unwilling to speak your mind, then something is wrong.
• Independently judge whether your company is growing or dying, and develop a defensible opinion regarding the state of the business.
• A regular meeting where everyone can hear the CEO explain his or her vision of the company, and that allows anyone to ask a question, is vital.
• Part of a healthy organization isn't just that information is freely flowing around; it's that people are leveraging it or acting on it.
• Busy feels good, but it is usually tactical and not strategic. Find time in which you're investing in yourself at work.
• In the absence of information, people make shit up, and if they feel threatened, what they make up amplifies their fears. So kill the gossip.

5. How to Run a Meeting

• When two people talk, it's a conversation. With three or more, it's a meeting, which needs rules so people know when to talk.
• An alignment meeting are regular meetings with tactical communication exchanges. Creative meetings require diving into solving a hard problem.
• The agenda answers the question of how everyone can get out of a meeting so that they can actually work.
• The referee shapes the meeting to meet the requirements of the agenda and the expectations of the participants.
• The referee must scan for attendees who aren't engaged. If someone is doing anything except listening, then they aren't listening.
• To re-engage someone, ask a question relevant to the current state of the topic, referee silence, or change the scenery.
• As a referee, own the meeting. Summoning the dictator to shut someone down is a last resort, because then everyone may shut down.
• A good referee will improvise, whether letting someone ramble who's onto something, or cutting a meeting short because progress is blocked.
• Meetings must exist, but meetings cannot be seen as the only solution for making progress.

6. The Twinge

• Freshman managers think it's their job to be responsible for their team's every thought and action, but you must learn to delegate.
• You must understand the art of evaluating a Spartan set of data, extracting the truth, and trusting your "Twinges."
• Management is a total career restart, and so approaches you use for products isn't going to work for people.
• As a manager, your day is full of stories. Always be asking if you believe each story, knowing that it's incomplete, and that it supports one point of view.
• Sniffing around pisses people off, and may be interpreted as micromanagement, but it's drawing on your past experiences to find failures, which cause Twinges.
• If you don't keep a story in check with a Twinge, and that story jumps from one person to the next, then you let a lie propagate.
• In summary, listen to stories, map them to your own experience, and ask questions and demand specifics when there is a Twinge.

7. The Update, the Vent, and the Disaster

• Your job in a one-on-one is to give the smallest voice a chance to be heard.
• Always hold a one-on-one at the same time each week; this sends a weekly reminder that you are there for them, no matter how busy.
• Give a one-on-one 30 minutes at least; don't reduce the time because you have so many people working for you, because you work for them.
• Start by asking "how are you?" It's deliberately vague so that the recipient can't help but put themselves in the answer.
• As you listen to a one-on-one, put the person in one of three buckets: the update, the vent, and the disaster.
• A successful one-on-one is not a status report, it is an opportunity to learn something new above the daily grind of business.
• If the one-on-one is a status report, listen twice as hard for something you can discuss, investigate, and explore.
• If that fails, then either come with prepared points, do a mini-performance review, or discuss your own professional disaster.
• Don't confuse a vent for a conversation. They don't want a solution, they want to be heard, and you must listen as long as it takes.
• A vent concludes and you can jump in when the other person loses steam, or it devolves into a rant.
• With a disaster, the worst response is any semblance of emotion. Don't ask questions, just be quiet and let the emotion pass.
• With a disaster, you're not experiencing the problem anymore, but the employee's emotional baggage regarding the problem.
• A disaster is the result of poor management, when someone believes that the only option for catalyzing change is to totally lose their shit.
• A one-on-one is your chance to perform weekly preventative maintenance while also understanding the health of your team.

8. The Monday Freakout

• If someone is going to freak out, it's going to be on a Monday, after fretting over the weekend about the work that awaits.
• When the freakout happens, don't participate. Instead listen and maintain eye contact, and repeatedly nod.
• There is likely a very real issue underlying the freakout, after the noisy preamble designed to get your attention.
• When you take the reins, ask questions; this moves the person from the emotional state to the rational one.
• One pleasant side-effect of attacking freakouts with questions is that the person is already close to a solution, so dig for it.
• The fact that a person is screaming at you is a good sign that he clearly, loudly cares. But you still screwed up.

9. Lost in Translation

• Beginners are not burdened with the complexity and depth of understanding; they shine brightly with enthusiasm until The Fall.
• When getting to know an employee, the first question you want to be able to answer is, "What does this person want?"
• When you know where someone wants to be, only then can you start to figure out how to get them there.
• When communication is suspect, rely heavily on clarification. When you say something that might be ambiguous, ask "What did you hear?"
• In return, when you listen, and the topic or intent isn't abundantly clear, restate "Okay, what I heard was..."
• Sometimes you must verbally go back and forth until a work commitment is stated, because it is never implied.

10. Agenda Detection

• An informational meeting simply has talkers and listeners; there is no problem to be solved other than the transmission of information.
• At a conflict resolution meeting, some problem needs to be solved, and agenda detection is more complex.
• Participants are players, who participate and want something out of the meeting, and pawns, who are silent or instruments of running the meeting.
• If you're sitting in a meeting where you're unable to identify any players, get the hell out.
• The pros are the players who are on the winning side of the issue, while the cons are getting screwed and look pissed off.
• A good pro doesn't acknowledge that they're the pro, and so they don't have to take the heat for whatever the conflict is.
• To get out, figure out what the cons want, then synthesize everything into constructive next steps and communicate that to the cons.
• If you're 30 minutes into a meeting and can't figure out what the issue is, then there are too many issues, and it's time to go.

11. Dissecting the Mandate

• There are three distinct phases to the mandate, which is decide, deliver, and deliver (again).
• When the debate is no longer productive, and people start confusing the emotion with the decision, then it's time to make a decision.
• For every person who has a strong opinion, there are probably four others who just want someone to make a decision so they can get back to work.
• A mandate may annoy the concerned parties, but the silent majority will appreciate the peace and quiet after your verdict.
• A good mandate takes moxie. There team has to leave the room knowing a decision has been made, and there is no wiggle room.
• If your team has argued for awhile, a mandate feels less like laying down the law, and more like relaying the results of an investigation.
• Deliver (again) is individually taking the time to express your reasoning to concerned parties, both winners and losers.
• Expect venting from the losers. If instead they're nodding their head, they don't believe the battle is over, so you must have them open up.
• If you have to relay some higher authority's mandate, you must figure out its justification to satisfy the rest of your team.

12. Information Starvation

• For each piece of information you see, you must correctly determine who on your team needs that information to do their job.
• The creation of information is the act of creating context and foundation when there is none.
• When you hear gossip, listen not only for what is actually being said, but for what informational gap in knowledge is being filled by this gossip.
• Perhaps the biggest loss of essential information is when managers rely on their brains as to-do lists.
• Maintain a consistent flow of information. Even if it's useless to you, you never know who on your team may care about it.
• Taking the time to give each piece of information that you're passing on a bit of your personal context never hurts.
• Your team is always going to tell you what they need to know. Employ some aggressive silence to bring it out of them.

13. Subtlety, Subterfuge, and Silence

• Management is chess; when presented with a problem, look at the board, figure out the consequences of each move, and then pick one.
• Subtlety starts with humility; sometimes your approach needs to start with admitting that you don't have all the answers.
• Subtlety finishes with elegance; you solve the problem in an ingenious, novel way that builds and refines your management aptitude.
• Subterfuge is a risk. Using it for good means keeping the intent honest, but it doesn't mean that someone isn't going to be pissed.
• To talk about something relevant, you've got to gather and to process data. In silence, you can assess.
• Everyone's basic agenda is visible after talking to them for 30 seconds. Everyone says what they have and what they need.
• Use silence to learn about your coworkers, and to construct a better picture about how to interact with them.

14. Managementese

• Managers are hubs of communication. The better they communicate across boundaries, the more data they have, and the better their decisions are.
• When you use managementese with an employee, they usually know what you're talking about, but you've self-identified as manager.
• Managers in a hurry needs to remember that managementese puts you a few key metaphors from sounding like a used-car salesman.
• When you're talking to individuals, ditch the managementese, and talk to them using the familiar language of a friend.
• Your goal is to have a conversation, and so both people sitting at the table need to trust and understand what is being said.

15. You're Not Listening

• The most basic rule of listening is: If they don't trust you, then they aren't going to say shit.
• A good conversation begins with a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening; it all starts with the ability to listen.
• Eye contact is the easiest way to demonstrate your full attention, and it's also the easiest way to destroy it.
• Keep asking stupid questions based on whatever topics until you find an answer where the other person lights up.
• Being a curious fool builds connective tissue, allowing you to develop a mental profile of someone, and setting you up for bigger conversations.
• To stop on a point, repeat their last sentence by saying "What I hear you saying is..." and repeat your version of their thought.
• This communicates that you are directing your full attention to understand what the person said and what it means.
• When you can't find the question, segue, or words to bring out what the other person wants to say, disrupt the conversation with silence.

16. Fred Hates the Off-Site

• At some organizational scale, natural cross-pollination and communication activities that used to happen organically can no longer occur.
• Off-sites create a space and place where a team can bond, a strategy can be devised, or you can begin an epic journey.
• You can't invite everyone; you must select a group of folks who are going to best represent the company on whatever huge problem you're solving.
• Everyone should present at the offsite. To reduce attendees, cut people who can't present anything meaningful, or people presenting the same thing.
• If you invite someone who is not presenting, then they should speak up randomly and brilliantly.
• The off-site is to create grounds to speak heresy, and that's easier when you aren't surrounded by visual reminders of obvious constraints.
• The Master of Ceremonies is the person responsible for not just moving the day along, but also knowing when to stop and pivot.
• The Taker of Notes is tasked with not only capturing the bright ideas, but the right ideas.
• Avoid personality tests. They apply clever labels to people, but to really understand one, solve a hard problem together.
• Don't invite external facilitators; they don't know the culture, the problem at hand, the politics, or the personalities.
• An off-site must be at least two days long, letting people soak in a problem overnight, and then attack it the next day.
• Unless the energy of an off-site is channeled back into the workspace and immediately acted upon, then an off-site is a frustrating opportunity to dream, but not to act.

17. A Different Kind of DNA

• Everyone wants to grow, but in many companies the only perceived growth path is via management.
• Job grades are a distraction packaged as a solution to the fact that we don't have a good idea how to grow engineers outside the management hierarchy.
• We need managers to scale responsibility and communication, but we need to dispel the idea that they are the exclusive decision-makers.
• DNA, or a design n' architecture, is a formal meeting with bright engineers from across the team or company tasked with a specific purpose.
• It has the best candidates to vet the idea, to talk about how to make it better, to constructively criticize, while being drama- and politics-free.
• If you don't contribute to the DNA meeting, you won't be invited back. And if you don't bring your A game, you'll get mentally trampled.
• A DNA meeting is a staff meeting of the influential engineers who don't want direct reports, but want to lead.
• DNA exists as an acknowledgment that a team is led not just by the folks who build the people, but also by the people who build the product.

18. An Engineering Mindset

• The first rule of management is to stay flexible.
• If you remove yourself from the code, then you remove yourself from the act of creation.
• Use the development environment to build the product, so that you understand the language your team uses when talking about getting stuff done.
• Be able to draw a detailed architectural diagram of the product, to demonstrate that you understand everything about it.
• Write unit tests, fix some bugs, or even own a feature.
• By building the product you're closer to your team, and you're closer to how software development is constantly changing in your organization.

19. Tear It Down

• People who want flat organizations don't understand how groups of people organize, and haven't built anything with more than a few individuals.
• There are three leaders: The Lead, The Lead of Leads, and The Director.
• The Lead is at the beginning of leading the work, not doing it. They are tactical. Their focus is the team.
• The Lead of Leads no longer has any hands-on responsibility. They are equal parts tactical and strategic. Their focus is across the company.
• The Leads of Leads run the company, because they are the ones who are ensuring that the work actually gets done.
• A bad Lead of Lead is fatal; they lose touch with Directors and lack strategic data, or lose touch with Leads and lack tactical data.
• The Director curates the vision. They are ideally completely strategic. The Lead of Leads must translate this vision into action.
• There is no hierarchy in the roles described above, because leaderships comes from everywhere.

20. Titles Are Toxic

• Titles were created as a way to give folks a path toward growth, not for judging someone else's importance from a business card alone.
• A job is a well-defined thing that has a clear and easy-to-understand set of responsibilities, while a title often has neither.
• The first growth path is the lead or management track, which is there so that communications and decisions can be sensibly organized.
• Your titles might be toxic if they don't reflect a job that you would consider to be of real and obvious value.
• The second growth path, assigning titles to engineers, cannot capture the seemingly infinite ways in which people evolve.
• Titles place an absolute professional value on individuals, while the reality is that you are a collection of skills of varying ability.
• It is a tall order for a title to capture expected ability, to measure seniority, and to serve as a measure of compensation.

21. Saying No

• When the team no longer questions the decisions of a manager, that manager feels like his decisions are always correct, which is statistically impossible.
• The good managers are those who have learned how to recover from decisions with dignity, and with help from the team.
• Saying no forces an idea to defend itself with facts, and for your manager to stop and think.
• Saying no is saying "stop," and when everyone thrives on movement, the ability to strategically choose when to stop is a sign of a manager willing to defy convention.
• Don't be paralyzed by the fact that you're one big, bad decision from being out of a job. Embrace the confidence of being "the boss."
• You are responsible for making great decisions, and the best way to do that is to involve as much of your team as possible in those decisions.
• By including your team in the decision process and creating an environment where they can say no, you're creating trust.