BLOGAL2.txt

[BLOGAL2]
;0x093F06C3=That's where private education and an apartment in Monaco gets you! Turns out this guy was from Eastern Europe! An immigrant! His name was something like Nino or Nico or Nonso. He could hardly speak English, had a face like a construction worker and his dress sense was simply GHASTLY! I bet he hasn't got a peseta, or whatever money they've got where he's from, to his name. I just hope that nobody on the scene saw me with him. And imagine introducing him to Daddy?! He's already threatened to cut off my credit cards. Could not bear to even think of that. All in all, it was the most painful date of my life. And when you've woken up on a beach with a professional wrestler in every orifice, that's saying something.
0x093F06C3=像我这样从小就上着私立学校，在Monaco拥有一套公寓的人，竟然会和一个东欧来的移民约会！移民啊！他的名字大概是Nino、Nico还是Nonse之类的。他英语说得很差，还长着一张工地脸，还有就是穿衣品味真的是太！差！啦！我怀疑他本人根本就没有比塞塔【(一种货币)】，还是什么他那边用的钱。总之我希望没人看到我跟他在一起。你们能想象一下我把他介绍给我爸的场景吗？！我爸已经威胁过我要把我的卡停掉了，我真的不敢想。总之，这真的是我人生中最痛苦的约会经历了。像是在沙滩上被猛男摔跤手们的巨物塞满时醒来一样的感觉，我曾经说过的。

;0x0B0C3415=I was so glad that I had my hand sanitizer with me. I shudder to think how many criminals have had their fingers in those sweaty holes. My hands haven't smelt so bad since my fateful night in the restroom of the Libertonian Museum with that state senator. You live and learn. Never give a 65-year-old man a prostate massage when he has food poisoning. I sat next to his wife at the Didier Sachs show in San Fierro last month. It's a powerful feeling to know that you an have any man you want. Toodle pip. Alex xxxxxx
0x0B0C3415=幸亏我带了洗手液。我不知道以前还有多少小贱人把手伸进那浸汗的洞，想到这我不由得抖了一下。那天晚上我和州议会会议员在Libertonian博物馆的卫生间里度过了难以描述的一晚，在这之前我的手就没这么臭过。活到老，学到老，永远不要给一个食物中毒的65岁男性做前列腺按摩。上个月在San Fierro举办的Didier Sachs服装秀上，我就坐在他妻子旁边。这种能想睡谁就睡谁的感觉真是太爽了。再见了，下次再和你们分享。Alex xxxxxx

;0x10B7B375=Today might just have been the worst day of my life. Worse than the time they made me stand in line at Maisonette 9. Worse than the time LC24 photographed me without high heels. Worse than the time my therapist got me pregnant. Worse than the time that so-called investment banker flew me to Vice City in cattle class. Niko took me to this awful fast food restaurant in some ghastly ghetto out in the sticks. I'm lucky to still be alive. My whole outfit is going straight in the trash. The stench of the underclass is something that you can never wash off. As if things couldn't get any worse, two ugly people were kissing at one of the tables.
0x10B7B375=这可能是我人生中最烂的一天。比在Maisonette 9排队的时候还烂、比让LC24拍到我没穿高跟鞋的时候还烂、比我的医生让我怀孕的时候还烂、比那次所谓的银行家让我坐经济舱去罪恶都市还烂。Niko带我去了一家大概是在贫民窟的垃圾快餐店。很幸运我还能活着出来。我去那穿过的衣服全都扔掉了。贫穷的臭味是洗不掉的。更恶心的是，邻桌有一对丑鬼在接吻。

;0x176520A5=Every time I purge eggs benedict, I start thinking about sex. Don't ask me why. It's the same with asparagus. Maybe it's something to do with that night I don't remember with the chef at Gozushi. Anyway, Niko and I are SO totally taking it to the next level sexually. He's such a snarling ball of testosterone!
0x176520A5=每次我吃完班尼迪克蛋的时候，我就有点欲求不满的感觉。别问我为什么，解释不了的。也许和我和Gozushi厨师长度过的那晚有关吧，我记不太清了。总之，我和Niko在那方面的体验达到了一个新的高度，他真的是一个很精壮的男人呢。

;0x179554F7=Hello darlings! How goes it with you? How goes it with me, more importantly?!!!! That's why you're reading this thing, isn't it? To live your own lives vicariously through mine? Well, big date with the Mysterious European to report! Maybe he's not just an uncultured brute with a sexy accent and a bulging package after all. We went for drinks to a swanky bar in Algonquin and I got a little tipsy, I have to admit!
0x179554F7=亲们好啊！过得怎么样呢？还是说我过得怎么样更重要呢？！！！！那就是你们为什么在读这个的原因对吧？通过我的经历感受生活？好吧，接下来是关于我和神秘欧洲人的约会的报告哦！也许这个糙汉子不只有性感口音和大弟弟哦。我们去了Algonquin的一家豪华酒吧而且我有点醉了，真的！

;0x1B22E673=Why do I keep dating these losers on craplist? My psychiatrist tells me it's because I'm a bipolar nymphomaniac who craves the approval of men in order to mask my deep-seated insecurity and self-loathing. He also tells me to keep my boots on when he's taking me from behind so I don't pay him much attention. Niko took me on a date to play pool today and I nearly died. I gave him a chance to impress me and he blew it. Big time. I haven't been that far out of my comfort zone since my foray into goatse last year. Love ya, girls xxxxx
0x1B22E673=为什么我还在一直坚持和craplist上的屌丝约会？ 我的精神科医生告诉我那是因为我患有躁郁性瘾症，渴望得到男人的认可来掩饰内心的不安与自卑。当他从后面进来的时候他还让我穿上靴子，这样我就不太会把注意力放在他身上了。Niko今天约会带我去打台球了，我真的受不了他，我给了他表现的机会，然而他搞砸了。简直了，上次我这么犯恶心还是在浏览Goatse的时候【Goatse 是 Goat sex(山羊的性爱)的缩写形式,同时也是 1999 年创立的一家网站的名字。主页上是一张裸体的中年男子撑开肛门的照片】。爱你们，我的女孩们。 xxxxx

;0x207A5EF1=Where is that delivery guy with Valentino's mineral water? Poor little doggy. He must be new. As soon as he sees my tight ass in a pair of booty shorts, he'll never be late again. This morning I got vodka delivered to my door in two minutes flat. Maybe I'll let him feel my new implants tomorrow? He's quite cute for a Mexican. Poor Valentino. There's no way I'm giving him any of that ghetto water out the tap. Speaking of ghettos, my Mysterious European showed me his true colors today. It was his big chance to impress me and where did we go? Ten-pin bowling!
0x207A5EF1=那个负责送我Valentino矿泉水的男人在干嘛啊？真是可怜的狗狗，他一定是新来的。 只要看到了我穿着热裤的小屁屁，他就永远不会送迟了。今早的伏特加两分钟就送到了，明天我也许会让他体验下我新隆的假体吧？作为一个墨西哥人，他长得挺帅的。 可怜的Valentino，我这水龙头里才没给他准备什么贫民窟的水呢。说到贫民窟，那个谜一样的欧洲人暴露的他的本色，我给了他表现的机会，然后呢？我们去打了保龄球！

;0x2258BB22=My body is so ridiculously toned right now, I can't even begin to tell you. If you didn't know I was 29, you would honestly think it was a high-school cheerleader riding some perverted older guy. I started having flashbacks to my Sweet 16 at one point. I wonder what Coach Jenkins is doing now??? Watching Niko bullfroging me on top of the washing machine got me thinking - could this swarthy foreigner be my knight in shining armor? Might it take a wild animal to tame this party girl?
0x2258BB22=我的身材简直凹凸有致得可笑，我都不知道怎么形容。如果你不知道我已经29了，你一定会以为有个高中拉拉队队长骑在老变态身上。想起了我16岁的美好时光了啊。Jenkins教练现在怎么样了呢？？？我在洗衣机上，看着Niko不断抽送的躯干，不由得想--这个棕皮的外国佬会是我的白马王子吗？只有如此狂野的猛兽才能征服这放荡的女人吗？

;0x266EDEE3=UGGH!!! They should ban it or keep them in a special compound or something. Don't get me wrong; I'm more than happy to do my part for the poor people. I'll be the first through the door at a $1,000-a-head charity fundraiser in a little black dress and some strappy sandals. But I don't need to experience their base existence first-hand. I feel like I need to be disinfected or something. I really can't see things working out with this Niko guy. Maybe this kind of approach works for girls in Russia or wherever he's from but this is Alex Chilton, not some peasant girl who works down a mine. I'm going to drink some Pinot, take some painkillers and pray for a full blackout. Toodles xxxxx
0x266EDEE3=啊啊啊啊啊！！！他们就应该把这个活动禁掉，或者在一个特殊区域里举办它。别误会，我很乐意为穷人出一份力。我会穿着我的小黑裙和系带凉鞋，第一时间赶到筹集1000美元的慈善活动会场。但是我真的不想亲自体验他们的日常生活。我觉得我需要去消个毒之类的，我真的搞不懂这对我和Niko的关系有什么帮助，也许对他那的或是俄罗斯的姑娘有用吧，但我是Alex Chilton啊，不是在矿井里干活的乡下姑娘。我想我应该喝点Pinot的红酒，再吃点止痛药，把一切都忘得干干净净。拜拜 xxxxx

;0x2DE50BF7=Thought of the day. Is it worth marrying a man you hate if he has a penthouse apartment? I think so. Let's break it down. I spend an average of 17 hours a day awake (depending on levels of cocaine use) and it takes me about 10 minutes to give the type of slobbering, pornstar blowjob that men equate with true love. That is less than 1% of my day. Not bad for a girl who skipped math class to give herself a Brazilian wax with a ruler and a cigarette lighter!
0x2DE50BF7=想想，有一天，你不喜欢的男人有了套豪华公寓，嫁给他值得吗？我觉得值。你想啊，我一天差不多有17小时是醒着的(要看我吸了多少可卡因)，然后，为了勾住他的心，给他一个像AV女优般、湿哒哒的口活只要我十分钟的时间。还不到我一天可用时间的1%。我觉得对于一个为了用尺子和打火机做巴西蜜蜡脱毛，逃掉数学课的女孩来说，这样的生活还不错！

;0x31378827=Probably because I haven't eaten for 5 days but regular meals won't get you into a size zero dress, chicas! My eyes look smoking when I'm drunk, everybody tells me that. I tried to edge closer to him to pull off my trademark crotch brush at one point but he backed away. I don't think he's used to a liberated woman in killer heels! Toodles for now xxxxxxxx
0x31378827=为了穿最小号的衣服，我已经五天没吃东西了，如果正常饮食可穿不上啊，姐妹！他们说过，我喝醉的时候眼睛会放电。我试着靠近他用胯下蹭他那，但他打了退堂鼓。我想他还不适应我这穿着超高跟的开放吧！今天先这样啦 xxxxxxx

;0x33065A51=I just might give up on Craplist. Nobody looks anything like their photos and most of the men I meet are either incontinent senior citizens or perverts. I mean, I'm up for as much exploration of my sexuality as the next girl but even I draw the line at getting fisted by a chimpanzee while its owner watches dressed as a spaceman. What am I doing messing around with these losers? I should stick to hanging out at Maisonette 9 with Heidi and Paige and whispering in men's ears that I'm not wearing any panties. At least the guys there know how to treat a girl - champagne followed by hateful sex. This neanderthal I met tonight wouldn't know his grand cru from his grand cul. A little French joke for you there, girlies!
0x33065A51=我可能再也不会登陆Craplist了，都是些照骗，大部分约我的要么是要失禁的老年人，要么是变态。我的意思是，就像一个普通女孩一样，我确实想做很多关于我的性需求的探索，但你也不能一边让你的黑猩猩给我拳交【fisted也有拳交的意思，总不能是被黑猩猩打吧？】，一边穿着得像宇航员一样在旁边看吧。我在和这些屌丝干些什么啊？我还是应该跟Heidi和Paige一起去Maisonette 9，然后悄悄地在那些男人们的耳边说我底下没穿。至少这些人知道怎么对待女孩——先喝香槟，再尽情地爱爱。我今晚遇到的尼安德特人【古人类】连「grand cru」【特级酒】和「grand cul」【大屁股】都分不清。一个法语笑话而已，你们分得清的吧，姑娘们！

;0x34B35FD7=Anyway, must dash. Two weeks to go until my collagen implants... and counting!
0x34B35FD7=不管怎么说，我得走了。我还有两周就要做胶原假体了...我等不及了！

;0x39C87714=So what if I'm having sex with a stranger I met online? Niko certainly isn't complaining. My mother once said that the path to true love is a rocky one, paved with shit and backstreet abortions. Maybe there's some truth in that. Maybe it makes no sense. She was a violent drunk who beat me with a rubber hose for not being pretty enough. Sometimes you have to take one for the team. Sometimes you have to take one from the team. To find Mr. Right, you have to sleep with a lot of Mr. Wrongs. Stay fabulous. Nitey night xxxx
0x39C87714=跟网上认识的陌生人爱爱怎么样？Niko肯定觉得很不错。我妈妈说通往真爱的路上是崎岖的，路上充满了狗屎和各种非法堕胎，也许这是真的，也有可能是假的。我妈是个暴力的酒鬼，因为我不够可爱，她就用橡皮管打我。有时你得变得无私，有时你得变得自私。在遇到对的人之前，你不得不和错的人睡过。保持努力吧。夜安 xxxx

;0x3A882357=My hand towels cost more than that! It feels like I've been looking for the right mole FOREVER. Once I get my new labia next month, I think that we're done with the surgery for another year! xxxxx
0x3A882357=还没我的手帕贵！我真是为了一颗合适的痣折腾了太久了。如果下个月能做好我的新阴唇的话，今年应该不会再动手术了！xxxxx

;0x3DE47239=Toodles for now xxxxxxxxxxxx
0x3DE47239=拜拜咯 xxxxxxxxxxxx

;0x49917184=Buckle up and hold on tight, girls, because the rollercoaster that is Alex Chilton's love life is plunging towards rock bottom. In a million years, you would never guess where my Mysterious European took me today. Cocktails on the roof of the Majestic? Shopping at Yogarishma? Facials at Le Chien? I wish. No, Mr. Romantic decided that he would woo me with a game of darts in an Irish Bar! DARTS! It was like everything I'd worked for all my life - the shoes, the killer body, the party invitations - vanished in an instant, stained forever with the filth of the underclass.
0x49917184=女孩们，系好安全带，抓稳扶手，因为Alex Chilton的爱情过山车即将坠入谷底。给你们一百万年，你们也猜不到今天我那神秘的欧洲人带我去哪了。去Majestic屋顶上喝鸡尾酒？去Yogarishma购物？去Le Chien做面部美容？真是但愿如此，浪漫先生带我去一家爱尔兰酒吧玩飞镖！飞！镖！感觉我白努力了，我的鞋子、完美身材、派对请柬——在此刻化为浮云，被贫穷的空气永远的玷污了啊。

;0x596EC8D6=But maybe that's it. Maybe I am TOO perfect. Maybe I am TOO fashionable. Maybe I scare men away with my supermodel looks and fierce intellect. It must be hard for the average man to handle a party girl at the top of her social game. Not to mention my blog. But that's the whole point: I'm not looking for an average man. A girl like me, a perfect 10 with no gag reflex who can work any room on the face of the planet, deserves to be on the arm of a man with style, taste and means. And I am more than happy to forego the style and taste. Is it too much to ask for an Algonquin loft, a beach home, ski chalet, European pied-a-terre and a yacht in the Caribbean?
0x596EC8D6=没办法啊。可能我太完美了。可能我太时尚了。可能男人都被我的超模般的外貌和过人的头脑吓跑了。要一个平凡的上班族征服一个派对女王是不可能的。更别说我的博客也写得这么好。 但问题也来了：我也不是要找个普通人过啊。像我口活这么好，不会吐，只要在房间里哪都没问题的完美的女性。理应躺在一个有颜值、有品位、有实力的男人的臂膀里。没有颜值和品位也挺好的，但要Algonquin的一套公寓、一套海滨别墅、一套滑雪小屋、一套欧式小公寓和一艘加勒比的游艇，过分吗？

;0x5B891573=I told Heidi about it and she is refusing to speak to me. What is it about this uncivilized brute that keeps drawing me in? Why do I always go for the wrong guys? I think that it is so important to end the day with a question and start the day with an answer... or a rail and a dirty martini.
0x5B891573=我给Heidi讲过这事后她就没理过我了。搞毛啊，为什么缠着我的都是些粗俗的人？为什么我老是遇不到对的人？带着这些问题入睡好了，明天再带着答案起来，这对我挺重要的...或者磕点【可卡因(rail有这个意思但不确定Line, rail - Dose of cocaine chopped up and laid out into a line for snorting)】，来杯dirty martini。

;0x5E68CC91=OMG!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I forgot to tell you about my latest sexploits with Niko! The past couple of days have been such a blur! You're not going to believe this but I just had to steam-clean my whole apartment... AGAIN!!! The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it and my chaise longue was covered in peanut butter! At least, I hope it was peanut butter.
0x5E68CC91=我的天！！！！！！！！！！我居然忘了告诉你们我和Niko爱爱的最新花式！过去几天简直太糜烂了！我都要给我的公寓大扫除了...又要！！！厨房就像被炸过一样，我的躺椅上到处都是花生酱！起码我希望是花生酱。

;0x64E67813=On a brighter note, I spotted this girl with the cutest mole I have ever seen as I was coming out of Fourchette and she's agreed to transplant it from her face to mine for $2000. Bargain or what?!
0x64E67813=好消息是，我从Fourchette出来的时候看到了一个长着超级好看的痣的女孩，而且她同意我花2000美元去把那颗痣移植过来，这还讨价还价什么呢？！

;0x68D8E7AA=Niko took me out to a restaurant. And I use 'restaurant' in the loosest sense of the word. You're not going to believe this but it was OUTSIDE ALGONQUIN! In one of those hideous boroughs where all the hired help live. Me! Alex Chilton! The girl voted 8th best-dressed socialite in a 2006 poll of Middle Park East trustfunders! I could have died! This place was horrendously tacky and beneath me. I don't think they've ever seen designer clothing in there before. I feel completely used and humiliated and not in a good way. I mean, I am the ultimate catch for a man. Have you seen my tits and ass? Beautiful, intelligent, artistic, uninhibited... there aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary to describe Alex Chilton.
0x68D8E7AA=Niko带我去了家「餐厅」，如果那玩意算餐厅的话。这家店竟然在Algonquin外啊！住的都是些打工仔的破地方。我！Alex Chilton！在2006年的Middle Park East的信托基金人中，被选为社会名流中最佳服装第8名！我感觉快要死了！这地方的俗气压得我喘不过来。这些土包子以前就没见过名牌衣服吧。我感觉被人狠狠地利用了，被羞辱了。我的意思是，看过我的奶子和屁屁吗？我是所有男人的梦中情人啊。我美丽、聪慧、优雅、不羁...字典里没有足够的形容词来修饰Alex Chilton。

;0x6C9768EE=Those Europeans are so kinky! Heidi told me that there is a whole village in Spain of men married to wild boars. I think he was spanking me with a frying pan at one point and the French baguette I bought on the way back from capoeira is pretty much ruined. Not that I was ever going to eat it. My vagina tightening workshop is definitely paying dividends, btw. It's like a weightlifter's fist down there! Toodles! xxx
0x6C9768EE=那些欧洲人都疯了！Heidi告诉在西班牙有一村子的男人都嫁给了野猪。我记得Niko有次拿平底锅拍我屁股，我从capoeira带的法棍面包也全毁了，虽然我也不准备吃它。顺便一提，我去的缩阴补习班很有用，感觉就像举重运动员的拳头放进去这么紧！拜拜！ xxx

;0x6CEA9BFC=We made love on the antique Persian rug in the hall of my apartment. Rough, animalistic sex... just the way I like it. The first one was a little quick but you can't blame the guy. I'm a perfect 10 with pelvic muscles like a nutcracker. I'm heading out right now to meet Heidi and Paige so that we can discuss his girth over cosmopolitans. It's so amazing being a beautiful, intelligent, sexually-aggressive woman with a Middle Park East apartment, stunning clothes and incredible friends. SIGH. Toodles xxxx
0x6CEA9BFC=我们在公寓客厅的波斯地毯上做爱。粗暴、狂野的性爱...就像我喜欢的那样。虽然第一次有点快但你也不能怪他，毕竟我的我的骨盆肌肉就像胡桃夹子一样完美。我准备去见Heidi和Paige，这样我们就可以讨论他的粗细了。作为一个美丽、聪慧、性感，有套Middle Park East的公寓、艳丽的衣服和最好的闺蜜的女人。【简直起飞。】拜了 xxxx

;0x78789C5E=Love? Sex? Relationships? Scat? Can they be separated? What does it all mean? When did I get that tattoo? Why do I keep waking up on the bathroom floor with no memory of the past 48 hours? Could Niko be the one? Or am I confusing sex with love again? Always be true to yourself, girls. Alex xxxx
0x78789C5E=爱？性？关系？【狗屎】？这些能够被分开吗？他们意味这什么？我什么时候纹身的？为什么我总在浴室的地板上醒来，然后对过去的48小时毫无印象？Niko是我的真命天子吗？还是我又把爱和性混淆了？要对自己诚实啊，姑娘们。 Alex xxxx

;0x791CB460=Hola chicas! Stop what you're doing and read about my life! Guess what?! I've finally got my Slavic wings! One well-hung immigrant and Alex Chilton has conquered the Balkan Peninsula! Niko and I took our relationship to the next level today. And not before time! We went back to my apartment and I surprised him by changing into my schoolgirl outfit. Bringing out the big guns! Ratatattat!!! He told me that he wanted to be inside me and I swooned. Sometimes men know just the right thing to say.
0x791CB460=哈喽大家好啊！停下你手中的针线活，来倾听我的人生吧！猜猜什么？！我终于得到了我的斯拉夫之翼！Alex Chilton和一个大屌移民已经征服了巴尔干半岛！今天我们的关系得到了全方面的提升。早该这样了！我们一起回了公寓，我穿了学生妹制服，给了他一个大大的惊喜，然后他举起大枪！哒哒哒哒哒！！！他说他想进去然后我不省人事了。有时候男人就是知道怎么讨女人欢心呢。

;0x87C23AED=Burning question of the day (and I mean that literally) - clit ring or no clit ring? My mysterious European can't get enough of it but that's no surprise considering he comes from a country where the women have sideburns and no teeth. But maybe that's what guys like? God, so many questions the meds do that to me sometimes. One minute I'm floating on a fluffy cloud of numb ambivalence, the next I'm talking to my reflection in a shop window.
0x87C23AED=急，在线等(字面意思，很急)——要不要上阴蒂环？神秘的欧洲人似乎愈发不能被满足了，但是也要考虑到他国家的女人都是些留着鬓角的无牙老奶啊。但万一这就是他喜欢的？天呐，平时也只有嗑药的时候才会想这么多问题。上一分钟还在矛盾的愁云上漂浮，下一分钟又去和橱窗里的倒影讲话。

;0x94088E9B=My Mysterious European caught me by surprise today with a date to one of my favorite Algonquin restaurants. For a man whose idea of high fashion is matching socks, this was a pleasant surprise and I'm starting to think that romance is in the air for this high society girl! I really wanted to suggest some cream pie for dessert but I'm not sure that he would have picked up on the duble entondrah (that's French, btw :-o). Ah, Paris in the spring... I'm really in uncharted territory here.
0x94088E9B=今天我神秘的欧洲人带我去了我最喜欢的餐厅，惊了。对于一个认为时尚就是要配好袜子的男人来说，这真是令人惊喜的举动呢，这个上流社会的女孩感受到了空气中浪漫的气息。我想建议他来点奶油派当甜点，但我觉得他可能不懂这个双关语(顺便一提是法语哦：-o)。【creampie法语是中出】啊，春风中的巴黎...【这就是爱情吧】。

;0x9682B63A=I'm so happy and buzzed right now. Great friends, amazing clothes, a perfect body, a luxury apartment and a string of rich, successful men lining up to penetrate me. Sometimes I think to myself. Is having everything ever enough?
0x9682B63A=我现在有点醉，很开心。想想我的亲友、我的靓衣、我的玉体、我的豪宅，还有派对追我的高富帅。有时我会问自己，难道就没有什么想要的了吗？

;0x9FE452CC=Girls, today might be one of those rare days when you don't wish that you were Alex Chilton. DISASTER DATE! Raise the horror level to RED ALERT! I must have been crazy to think that I could mould that Russian philistine into some kind of sophisticate?!!! He probably doesn't even play tennis. Can you believe that he had the nerve, the barefaced nerve, to take ME to some awful dive bar? I am in shock right now. I've never seen a group of people more in need of cosmetic surgery in my life.
0x9FE452CC=女孩们，今天可能是你们少有的不想当Alex Chilton的日子。灾难般的约会！灾难等级：红色警戒！会想帮那个俄罗斯呆子变得有眼力见点，我一定是疯了啊？！！！他可能连网球都没打过。他居然有胆带我去一些烂烂【dive bar】？我当时都惊了，第一次遇到那么多需要整容的人。

;0xA0EA1394=The way I see it, being a liberated woman is about taking back the power. Giggle like a school girl over dinner and then beat his balls with a rolling pin when you get home. And this has nothing to do with my father, whatever my therapist says. Take Niko, for example, my Mysterious European. A man's man, if ever I saw one. Well, believe me, even tough guys cry when you burn their nipples with a cigarette lighter. He was shaking like a shitting dog by the time he left my place. A thousand-dollar heel up the ass soon separates the men from the boys. Ciao. Alex xxxxx I actually think that my breasts are getting perkier, btw!!!
0xA0EA1394=在我看来，作为自由的女性，就是要有力量。在晚餐的时候，笑的像个女高中生一样，但一回家就用棒子敲男人的蛋蛋。先说明这跟我父亲没有关联啊，不管我的心理医生怎么说。就拿Niko来说吧，我神秘的欧洲人。在我见过的男人中，是男人中的男人。相信我，就算是这样的猛汉，你用打火机烧他们的乳头他们也会哭。他走的时候像条丧家犬。一只1000美元的高跟鞋的鞋跟就能区分男人和男孩。拜咯。Alex xxxxx 顺便一提我的胸越来越大了哦！！！

;0xA168E816=Que horror! Somebody hose me down! I'm covered in the germs of the common man. Niko dragged me to the most disgusting bar you have ever seen today. The kind of place where inbred reprobates come to fight and fornicate in between acts of crime. I've seen it on TV. It was terrifying - they all looked at me as if they'd never seen a smoking-hot Algonquin socialite before. There'll be a few men masturbating tonight, I can tell you. If that's his idea of a date, he can go back to Madrid or Moscow or wherever he's from.
0xA168E816=真是可怕！来个人用水给我冲下！我身上到处都是普通人的细菌。Niko拉我去了一家最恶心的酒店。大概是一家近亲繁殖的人用来打架和通奸的地方，我在电视上见过。我太怕了——那的人都看着我，好像从来没见过抽着烟的Algonquin交际花一样。我敢打赌，今天他们中有人晚上要打飞机。如果这就是Niko认为的约会，那他还是趁早回马德里还是莫斯科什么的吧。

;0xA4CF3FED=Fuck me I'm a goddess. You have GOT to watch this tape I made of Niko and me getting down and dirty in my apartment! Maybe I should have told him about the video camera but he'd only have gone all European and awkward on me. I'll post it on Electric Tit as soon as I find the right soundtrack. Wow, talk about reaching my sexual peak! The backwards roll into handstand with him still inside me was nothing short of spectacular!
0xA4CF3FED=我简直他妈的是个极品女神。你一定得看看我和Niko在公寓里做乱的样子！也许我该告诉他摄像机的事但那样就有点尴尬了。我会把最好的片子发到Electric Tit的。【芜湖！】该说说我高潮的时候！他插进的时候，我向后一转，倒立起来，太壮观了！

;0xA8BBDAAC=It was the perfect date. Expensive drinks surrounded by beautiful people. That's what life is all about. My life, anyway! I'd been doing blow all day so the last thing I wanted was food or conversation.
0xA8BBDAAC=真是一次完美的约会。佳人美酒。这才是生活啊。我是说，我的生活，诶不管了！我一整天都在【口】，一点都不想讲话和吃东西。

;0xA9074588=There might be more to my Mysterious European than just bad English and skin like leather. He took me out to eat at a borderline-acceptable restaurant in Algonquin today and I didn't even choose it! He's a little rough around the edges - certainly not my usual type! - but he knows how to treat a lady and he is starting to open up to me, I think. I wanted to open myself up to him right there on the table after that meal, I can tell you! I still have no idea what he does or where he lives but that's part of the excitement. The danger turns me on. There's something about those eyes. I'm thinking about how well-hung he is.
0xA9074588=这个神秘的欧洲人不仅仅英语烂和皮肤差。今天他带我去了一家不太行的餐馆，不是我选的！他有点点狂野——明显不是我的菜！——但他知道如何和女性相处，他也跟我表达过真心。我在吃完饭后其实是有点想对他敞开心扉的，真的！但我还是不知道他住哪，干什么，但这让我觉得挺兴奋的。危险的气息，我喜欢。他的眼睛里有故事，我也想知道他有多长

;0xB2D5B76B=I've spent the last 6 hours staring at a blank TV screen and now I feel like musing whimsically about what it means to be a modern woman. How do we carve out a sexual identity for ourselves in the 21st century? And I'm not talking about cutting myself after masturbation. That's all in the past and I'm much happier now.
0xB2D5B76B=我盯了6个小时的空白电视，我在试着思考摩登女性的意义。在21世纪该怎么塑造的在性中的身份呢？在自慰后用刀划自己不算啊，那都是过去的事情了，我现在很快乐。

;0xBB467FC1=Niko earned himself a lot of brownie points today! I might even dress up like a brownie for him, if he plays his cards right. My stomach is so ripped right now, I really could pass for a girl half my age. He took me to this cool spot for cocktails which was just what the doctor ordered. Actually, the doctor ordered me to start eating before I have a heart attack but what does he know? I didn't hear him complaining when he was pile-driving me over the defibrillator.
0xBB467FC1=Niko今天在我这得了很多印象分呢！如果他能接着像这样表现的话，我可能会打扮得像棕仙一样服务他下吧。我的小腹很紧致哦，比我小一半的女生都不是我的对手。总之他带我去了一个喝鸡尾酒的好去处，医生也正好叫我喝点酒。好吧，医生是叫我吃点东西以防心脏病发作，但他能懂个屁？他拿隔着除颤器操我的时候可是很满足呢。

;0xBD357DEC=Liberated Women! I'm starting to wonder how liberated some of you really are. I just got an email calling me a "spoilt attention-starved slut" who "uses the approval of men to validate her meaningless existence". Er, whatever, bitch!!!! You sound like my therapist. This is the 21st century. We are sassy, independent women. It's not about burning your bra any more. It's about removing it with no hands at the dinner table while flicking a martini olive with the tip of your tongue.
0xBD357DEC=自由的女性们啊！我在想你们到底有多自由。我刚刚收到一封电子邮件，说我是「被操到昏迷的荡妇」是「用男人的认可来证明自己毫无意义的存在」。恶，滚你妈的，狗比东西！！！你讲话像我心理医生一样。这是21世纪。我们是与时俱进的，独立的女人。现在已经不是烧胸罩主张女人自立的时候了。在餐桌上，当女人用舌尖舔着放入martini的橄榄的时候，胸罩不用自己脱就掉了，这才是当代女人应有的姿态。

;0xC0AE4C4B=Uggh! I feel physically sick and not just from the tranks I crushed up and rubbed into my gums earlier. If he looks like an uncivilized barbarian, acts like an uncivilized barbarian and talks like an uncivilized barbarian, then he probably is an uncivilized barbarian. I must be out of my mind. What did I expect from an immigrant I met online? I've been humiliated in the worst way possible by a man who almost certainly has never done brunch in his life. Can you believe that he took me bowling? Can you get any more white trash than that?
0xC0AE4C4B=恶啊！我感觉不舒服，我之前把安定药片咬进牙龈里了，但原因不只这一个。如果有个人，长得像土包子，行为像土包子，说话像土包子，那他就是土包子。我真是疯了。网上遇到的移民，你能奢求什么？我被一个一辈子都没吃过brunch的人羞辱惨了。你敢相信，他竟然带我去打保龄球？这就是最烂的白人了吧？

;0xC2DF7938=Underlying his gruff, awkward manner is the kind of quiet self-assurance that only comes with a member of a certain size. He doesn't seem to be intimidated by my beauty and intellect. Overawed by it, of course, but not intimidated. I can spot small penis syndrome a mile away. I have a pretty good radar for these things... in fact, I've never met anyone more insightful than me. That's why I blog. To unveil the truths about love and life that lie hidden to all but the most perceptive. Sometimes the truth hurts but so does a champagne bottle up the ass in a penthouse suite. Nobody said that being an Algonquin socialite was easy.
0xC2DF7938=在他粗鲁、笨拙的表象下，有一种不动声色的自信，这种自信只在一种很特殊的群体出现。他在我的美貌与聪慧前并不怯场。当然，他被惊艳了，但没被吓住。我在一英里外就能知道谁是不是阳痿，感觉我就像安了一个敏锐的雷达一样...我真的从没见过有谁比我更敏锐。这就是为什么我在写博客，为了揭开普通人发现不了的爱情和人生的真相。但真相有时会伴随着痛苦，就像在豪华套房里被香槟插屁股一样。成为Algonquin的社交名流并不是一件简单的事。

;0xCCDF54E3=I was talking to Paige about Niko and she told me that people in eastern Europe just shit on the side of the road when the need strikes them. Que horror! My new meds are great, btw. I can get that doctor to sign over half of Holland Hospital Center if I strip nice and slowly. I don't know what it is about Niko but I feel all warm and gooey inside. Could it be love? Or is it just the first rumblings of cocaine diarrhea?
0xCCDF54E3=我跟Paige聊起Niko，他告诉我东欧人一旦便意来了就会在路边解决。真是恐怖！对了，新买的药效果很好，我在想如果我脱衣服更慢一点，更妖艳一点，那个医生会不会把Holland Hospital Center的一半给我。我说不清楚对Niko是什么感觉，但我心里感觉暖暖的软软的。这是爱吗？还是说我可卡因嗑多了终于要腹泻了？

;0xCF088A3E=Nitey night!!!!!
0xCF088A3E=夜安！！！！！

;0xCF868B42=My butt looks AMAZING in my new Yogarishima culottes, btw!
0xCF868B42=顺便一提，新买的Yogarishima裙裤穿上了，我的蜜臀超好看！

;0xD22C375B=If the poor are so poor, why are they all so fat? Would it kill them to exfoliate once in a while? It was the most demeaning thing that has ever happened to me. I'm used to blowing married men on private jets not fraternizing with the hired help in a disease-infested shithole. I've probably got AIDS.
0xD22C375B=都这么穷了，为什么还会这么胖？稍微注意一下个人形象能死吗？我从没感觉这么掉价过。我平常都是在私人飞机给结婚了的男人口，而不是在这到处都是疾病的破地方和打工仔亲密。我可能要得艾滋了。

;0xD262EFB4=I might as well start wearing polyester and giving birth every three weeks. This is the girl who once flew to Sicily for a cannoli. Which I threw up immediately. I was willing to give Niko some leeway, being a foreigner and all. They don't have the same dating etiquette in the second world. Paige told me that men in Scotland mount women in the streets like dogs. But this might have been the final straw for my Mysterious European. Love is fleeting; a bad reputation lasts a lifetime.
0xD262EFB4=也许我也要穿涤纶的衣服，三周生一次孩子。这就是那个飞到西西里的女孩现在的生活，而她的理由只是想吃为了吃奶油煎饼卷，一种我都咽不下的东西。我很愿意给Niko一些宽容，作为一个来自第二世界的外国人，他们没有跟这一样的约会礼仪。Paige告诉我苏格兰的男人把女人当成狗在街上骑。但即便如此我只会再给Niko最后一次机会了，爱情稍纵即逝，而坏印象是会一辈子记得的。

;0xD9B0D799=Stick a fork in me. I'm done. My credibility on the Algonquin party circuit has been trampled under the rough hooves of the common herd. I thought that it wasn't possible to sink any lower on a date than that advertising guy who ordered the house wine (I didn't swallow that night on principle) but my Mysterious European plummeted to new depths of barbarity today.
0xD9B0D799=用叉子叉死我算了，完了，都完了。我在Algonquin社交界已经抬不起头了。我自认为我的品位不会比那个要【house wine普通葡萄酒】的广告商差(我在原则上也没喝那酒)，但我那神秘的欧洲人却让带我low出新高度。

;0xDAACF07E=My Mysterious European took me out on a date to a Russian cabaret club in Broker today. Not the usual hangout for a drop-dead gorgeous Algonquin socialite but I'd been snorting painkillers all day and I have to admit that I quite enjoyed it. Maybe I should have gotten up there and done my trick with the ping pong ball! Those Europeans are so quaint and quirky with all their acts and games. When you don't have a TV or prescription meds, I suppose you'll do anything to get through the day.
0xDAACF07E=今天，我那神秘的欧洲人带我去Broker的俄罗斯歌舞俱乐部约会。像我这样的Algonquin交际花一般是不会来这的，不过我一整天都在吸止痛药，去了之后也感觉还不错。也许我也该上台用乒乓球表演下我的绝活！那些欧洲人的表演和游戏什么的都挺怪的。如果是没有电视和处方药的生活的话，为了消遣干什么都不奇怪了。

;0xE1532ED3=Then I got home and ate a blueberry muffin at around 250 calories. I am so weak sometimes. Going on a 4-day water fast tomorrow. Maybe a couple of cocktails to take the edge off. Nico has never heard of a bloody mary... can you believe that?!!!! Watch this space.
0xE1532ED3=然后我回家吃了个大约250卡路里的蓝莓松饼。我有时候感觉很虚。明天开始禁食四天吧。再加几杯鸡尾酒可能会好一点。Nico没听说过bloody mary...你敢信？！！！！继续关注我的博客。

;0xE4F2F82A=Oh the shame of it! My reputation is in tatters. If the press finds out that Alex Chilton was playing darts, I am finished in this town. You can't bounce back from something like that. Niko thought that it would be a fun thing for us to do together. Er, maybe on the Balkan Peninsular, sweetheart, but this is Algonquin. My idea of a fun date is ordering a $200-salad, not eating it, blacking out on wine and riding a married hedge fund manager in the back of a limo.
0xE4F2F82A=太丢人了！我没脸见人了。如果Alex Chilton玩飞镖的事传出去了，我在这就混不下去了，从此一蹶不振。Niko倒是觉得玩飞镖挺适合约会。也许他还活在Balkan Peninsular，但这是Algonquin。我认为一个好的约会应该是点一份200美元的沙拉放着不吃，然后只喝红酒，【最后做进豪华轿车的后面，坐在一个已婚对冲基金经理的身上。】

;0xE91DB8C4=I've always liked it a bit rough, I suppose, but never in public like this! If Paige and Heidi saw Niko, they would just DIE! I often think back to the gardener at my parents' place upstate and wince a little, in a good way. Those filthy finger nails and stubble like sandpaper. Mmmmmmm. Yummy. No wonder I failed my SATs! Then my bitch of a mother found out and tried to cancel all my store cards. I hate her. I wish she'd hurry up and die. If she didn't pay my bills, I'd never speak to the drug-addled cow again.
0xE91DB8C4=我一直喜欢狂野一点的，但从没敢在大家面前提起！如果Paige和Heidi看到Niko了，她们会被吓死的！我经常想起我那住在往北一点的父母雇的园丁，那脏脏的指甲，砂纸一样的胡茬。嗯...噫。怪不得我SAT考试挂了！我的婊子妈发现了，把我购物卡给注销了。我真希望她早点死。要不是她帮我付了账，我永远不会跟这个天天吸毒的奶牛讲话了。

;0xE9E6F805=I can hardly bring myself to admit this but I played POOL. Alex Chilton! If I wasn't so zoned on coke and painkillers, I'm not sure that I would be able to handle the shame right now. Thank god for my art. What would I do without my blog? Writing is my outlet, a way of channeling my innermost thoughts and fears into something meaningful, something that will inspire liberated women of the world to be the best that they can be. Toodles for now. Alex xxxxx
0xE9E6F805=虽然不想承认但我确实去打了台球。Alex Chilton你啊真是的！如果不是我磕可卡因和止痛药磕high了的话，我一定受不了这种耻辱。还好我有在写博客，如果没博客我该咋办啊？写博客能让我宣泄出来，一种能让我内心的想法和恐惧变得更有意义的方法，能让开放的女性们变得更好。拜了个拜。 Alex xxxxx

;0xEB4842C5=His accent is so deep and erotic. As soon as he saw me, I could tell that he was undressing me with his eyes. Dark, brooding eyes. There's something so raw, so masculine about him. We talked for hours. Well, I did most of the talking. He is more of the strong silent type. Somehow I don't think he's a lawyer, though. Not sure that I am going to be able to introduce him to Heidi and Paige just yet!
0xEB4842C5=他口音很重，很性感。他看我的时候，我就知道他在用眼睛脱我衣服。他的眼睛黑暗深邃，身上有种阳刚之气。我们交谈甚欢，好吧基本上都是我在讲。他惜字如金，但单凭这点也不能确定他干律师这一行就是了，还不知道能不能把他介绍给Heidi和Paige呢！

;0xEE72CEC1=It's never going to be a substitute for getting sandwiched by two corporate lawyers in the back of a limousine but perhaps some blue collar loving was just what the doctor ordered? Well, actually, the doctor ordered me to stop doing coke before I have another heart attack but you know what I mean. Sometimes when you have steak every day, you just want a greasy burger. Do we spend too much time chasing the wrong men? Could Mr. Right be the plumber or construction worker? Or are they just like mopeds? Fun to ride until your friends find out? Toodle pip xxxx
0xEE72CEC1=跟在豪华轿车上被两名企业律师夹在中间不一样，也许跟蓝领谈场恋爱才是医生要我干的？好吧，医生说的是叫我别磕可卡因了，以免犯心脏病，但是你懂的。天天吃的是牛排，就想吃油腻的汉堡包了。我们是不是跟错的人一起浪费了太多时间？你的白马王子是管道工还是建筑工人？还是说他们像摩托车一样？只是骑着过渡的存在？拜了 xxxx

;0xF95497F0=He plays his cards close to his chest but, if he wants to get his hands on mine again, he's going to have to raise his game big time. And I want to see a copy of his bank balance. I'm starting to think that he might not be an oligarch or oil tycoon after all. It's about time this mysterious European got a bit less mysterious. Ciao xxx
0xF95497F0=他还是表现得神神秘秘的，但如果他想赢得我的芳心的话，他还是得张扬一点。我想看看他的银行存款。我怀疑他根本就不是什么财阀还是什么石油大亨。是时候让这个神秘的欧洲人露出他的庐山真面目。拜咯 xxx

;0xFD19E668=Guess what! I went on another date with a guy from craplist today. And he's not a sex offender! As far as I can tell, anyway. This whole online thing is finally starting to work out for me. It's a much easier way to meet men than leaning over tables of drunken investment bankers with my breasts pushed together. I suppose that I have become a bit more picky since that guy mixed me a drink and I woke up on an operating table in Peru three days later. Doctors get me swooning every time. He's called Niko and he's from Russia or Europe or somewhere like that.
0xFD19E668=猜猜咋了！我今天又和craplist上的人约会了。不是性侵犯哦！大概。不管怎样，这网恋网站终于有用了一次了。这样约男人才更简单，不用在一堆喝醉的银行家面前挤乳沟。上次那谁混了一杯饮料给我，三天后我才从秘鲁的手术台上醒来，从那之后我觉得我变得更挑剔谨慎了，医生们每次都想弄昏我。对了，他叫Niko，来自俄罗斯，欧洲还是什么别差不多的地方。