[fem] Support external forces (RobotLocomotion#20404)

Allow user defined external force field to affect deformable bodies
modeled with FEM. Also treat gravity forces consistently for deformable
bodies and rigid bodies.

[workspace] Install Qhull patches and required testimonials (RobotLoc…

…omotion#20371)

Refactor the vendor_cxx patch generator tooling for reuse.

Remove problematic dead code from the ipopt rules.

[visualization] Meldis shows tessellated hydro shapes (RobotLocomotio…

…n#20179)

Require reasonable unit vectors for UnitInertia functions (RobotLocom…

…otion#19926)

Deprecates the previous liberal acceptance of any-length vectors.

Co-authored-by: mitiguy <[email protected]>

SAP uses BlockSparseSuperNodalSolver by default (RobotLocomotion#19757)

[examples] Remove optitrack_test (RobotLocomotion#19616)

This test is vestigial; we have sender/receiver tests that trump it.

Fix build errors vs fmt 10 (RobotLocomotion#19459)

[multibody] Removal of deprecated Parser::AddModelFromString (RobotLo…

…comotion#19413)

[multibody] Remove deprecated bazel label 2023-04 (RobotLocomotion#19216

)

[doc] Add release notes v1.14.0 (RobotLocomotion#18954)