Add and use exclude_from_libdrake tag (RobotLocomotion#8815)

This allows us to customize what ends up in libdrake.

common/BUILD.bazel

@@ -381,6 +381,13 @@ drake_cc_library(
         # Don't add this library into the ":common" package library.
         # Only programs with a main() function should ever use this header.
         "exclude_from_package",
+        # Don't install this header via this cc_library, because that would
+        # introduce a dependency from libdrake onto gflags.  Similarly, we
+        # can't use `install_hdrs_exclude` for this because the @gflags
+        # dependency should not be part of the install.  Instead, we exclude
+        # this cc_library entirely, and use a separate rule below for the
+        # installation.
+        "exclude_from_libdrake",
     ],
     deps = [
         ":essential",
@@ -399,7 +406,8 @@ drake_cc_library(
         # This rule should only be used for install purposes.
         "exclude_from_package",
     ],
-    # This rule should only be used for install purposes.
+    # This rule should only be used for install purposes, not within the
+    # in-source bazel build.  We limit its visibility to enforce that.
     visibility = ["//tools/install/libdrake:__pkg__"],
 )
 

common/proto/BUILD.bazel

@@ -111,7 +111,11 @@ cc_library(
     include_prefix = "drake/common/proto",
     strip_include_prefix = "/third_party/com_github_google_protobuf",
     tags = [
+        # Developers should not use this directly.
         "exclude_from_package",
+        # Don't install via cc_library; instead, rely on the :install rule
+        # below to handle the install path correctly.
+        "exclude_from_libdrake",
     ],
 )
 

tools/install/libdrake/build_components_refresh.py

@@ -43,11 +43,10 @@ def _find_libdrake_components():
 kind("cc_library", visible("//tools/install/libdrake:libdrake.so", "//..."))
     except(attr("testonly", "1", "//..."))
     except("//:*")
-    except("//common:text_logging_gflags")
-    except("//common/proto:protobuf_ubsan_fixup")
     except("//examples/...")
     except("//lcmtypes/...")
     except("//tools/install/libdrake:*")
+    except(attr(tags, "exclude_from_libdrake", //...))
 """
     # First, find the drake_cc_package_library targets within that query.
     package_libs = []