- Buddee (person who will be assisted)
- Buddy (person who will be doing the assisting)
The program consists of three steps, to be repeated cyclically until all goals are achieved. While the steps give an outline of the system, it is highly encouraged to read this entire document in order to better understand how it should be applied in detail and to know about the potential obstacles.
- Set clear goals, divided into measurable steps, establish deadlines and together decide if they are reachable.
- Talk about progress and accomplishments frequently*. The Buddy should analyse the progress of her/his Buddee in order to provide actuatable advice, while the Buddee should objectively present the state of her/his progress and anything potentially hindering it.
- Slightly less frequently* the Buddy should consider whether or not the rate of progress is sufficient to achieve the decided goals, if it is deemed too slow, then an intervention is necessary, where step one is repeated.
*Frequently means as necessary, initially this should be near daily, if progress is being made consistently then conversations can become slightly less frequent, however in most cases it should never mean less than once per week.
The main goal of the program is to give the Buddee a sense of responsibility and accountability towards her/his own goal. By forcing the Buddee to express her/his goals frequently as well as her/his current progress, not only to herself/himself, but to others, he/she then feels more inclined to achieve them, as not achieving them would have to be admitted not only to themselves, but also to her/his Buddy.
With the knowledge that someone other than themselves is keeping track of both her/his goals and progress the Buddee is subject to an effect similar to that of a boss at work for example, however here through the use of a trusted and familiar person with far less executive power substituting the boss, stress should be alleviated and a more friendly relationship can be established. Also given the much more frequent “performance-evaluations” by the Buddy confidant, where the goal is not to criticise but to point out problems whilst discussing, and deciding on, solutions, the Buddee should feel much more supported than in a traditional employee-workplace authority figure relationship.
An example of this effect in action is when someone, for the sake of the example, you, announce to your group of friends or relatives that you are embarking on some new quest to accomplish something new: for example learning a new language. At that point you gain a sense of responsibility to achieve your goal, and the people to whom you announced your goal gain a sense of expectance in hearing your progress. Later on, usually after a rather long period of time, you might be asked for updates on your progress, and if there has been little or none, which for most “personal-improvement” type goals, for most people is usually the case, you will feel embarrassed and come up with excuses or outright abandon your original goals. By constantly talking to your Buddy about your progress starting from the very announcement of your goals, you will feel much more motivated (even obligated) to stick to them. The negative effects that come from the sense of obligation (quite different compared to motivation) should be minimised, through encouragement from your Buddy, never forgoing honesty in exchange for sheltered support however.
The main detriment to the effeciency of the program are negliegence in practicing the second step of the routine, that is the one that requires that the Buddee and Buddy consistently follow up on progress and judge the current state of accomplishment. Whilst the goals set in the first step can potentially be unrealistic or even unachievable, thouroughly applying the second step should result in the Buddy (who should be the more objective partner in the pair) noticing any issues and proposing a reavulation of the original goals if the need should arise. The "outside view" of the Buddy, together with frequent discussions with the Buddee will lead to a relatively deep understanding of the progress being made and will give the Buddy the necessary information to make unbiased observations.
Honesty in the Buddee/Buddy relationship is therefore necessary in order for the Buddy to be able to correctly evaluate all progess in an objective manner. Whilst the effort required from the Buddy is much lighter, nonetheless it should go beyond simply asking questions and listening. The Buddy must invest himself (figuratively speaking) in the Buddee's goals, the reasons being two-fold: the Buddee must feel that his progress, or lack of progress, will be noticed by the Buddy and the Buddy must dedicate the necessary brain power in order to truly understand the situation in it's whole and be able to help provide solutions to problems that may come up.
Honesty must come not only from the Buddee, but also the Buddy. When working alone self-denial often leads to us not admitting our failures to ourselves, the Buddy must not not support this attitude and call it out in an intelligent and understanding way, presenting facts and providing potential solutions when possible. Furthermore the Buddee might try to hide his procrastination not only from himself, but from his Buddy. The Buddy therefore must also proactively look out for signs of dishonesty, even if slight, from the Buddee.
This program is not for everyone, nor is it for every type of goal. It was devised to be applied to goals of non-critical importance where the fear of failure and any feelings of embarassment in the person being assisted are not such to promote negative consequences towards the relationship with the assister.