Initial feedback

script/Ciel/Day 10/10_01_CIEL10_4_2C.txt

@@ -47,7 +47,7 @@ Her underclassman simply admires the view from his vantage point on the floor.
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 -- Page 221, Offset 27670.
 -- でも話は続けますので、先輩はそのままで」
-I'll pick up where I left off though Senpai, so just stay where you are."
+I'll pick up where I left off though, Senpai, so just stay where you are."
 }
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@@ -70,17 +70,17 @@ While I didn't exactly %{i}need%{/i} to see her from this angle,
 -- シスター服と、ヴローヴの時の鎧みたいなヤツ。
 // The only sister outfit I know is a white long-sleeved shirt with a black ribbon, a long pleated black skirt, a black headband and knee-high lace-up boots. Sorry.
 You've got your nun's habit,
- as well as that more armored looking thing you wore in the fight against Vlov.
+ as well as that armor thing you used against Vlov.
 }
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 -- あれ、どういう使い分けなんでしょう？
-How do you choose which one to use?
+So, how do you choose which one to use?
 }
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 -- Page 222, Offset 27676.
 -- 素人意見ではありますけど、戦い方とか変わるんですか？」
-I'm just guessing here, but does which one you wear affect how you fight?"
+I'm no expert, but if I had to guess, they affect how you fight, right?"
 }
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@@ -95,12 +95,12 @@ I guess you could say that one of them is for investigation, and the other is fo
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 -- Page 224, Offset 27679.
 -- 「修道服は汎用のスタイルです。
-"The nun's habit is my general purpose outfit.
+"The habit is my general purpose outfit.
 }
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 -- 代行者でもありシスターでもある、というか。
-I'm an Executor, but I'm also still a nun, right?
+I guess it's like a compromise between Executor and nun.
 }
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@@ -115,7 +115,7 @@ My main role as an Executor is to perform inquisitions,
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 -- Page 225, Offset 27682.
 -- 「この時のわたしは大きな武器は持てません。邪魔になりますし、被害者を威圧してしまいます。
-"When I'm performing these other duties, I don't bring any large weapons.
+"When I'm performing these other duties, I don't bring any large weapons with me.
  They'd just get in the way, and might intimidate the victims I'm trying to help.
 }
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@@ -128,7 +128,7 @@ I said a moment ago that Black Keys are outstanding weapons,
 -- Page 225, Offset 27684.
 -- 黒鍵の柄だけなら修道服の下に忍ばせても目立ちませんから」
 // I feel there's a dirty joke to be made here
-When they're in their handle form,
+When they're in their hilt form,
  I can slip them under my habit and nobody will even notice they're there."
 }
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@@ -139,7 +139,7 @@ I see.
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 -- シスター服の時は警察官のようなもので、戦闘メインの服装ではなかったのか。
-When she's wearing her nun's outfit, her role is really more that of a policewoman――it's not designed for combat.
+When she's wearing her nun's outfit, her role is really more that of a policewoman――it's not her primary combat outfit.
 }
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@@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ Please convey my gratitude to the higher-ups at the Church, too.
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 -- Page 230, Offset 27694.
 -- 「ヴローヴとの戦いで用いた武装は殲滅用のものです。
-"The weapon I used in the fight against Vlov is tailored for eradication.
+"The armament I used in the fight against Vlov is tailored toward eradication.
 }
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@@ -192,23 +192,23 @@ I only use it when there's no chance of bystanders
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 -- 対象が救済の余地のない害獣である場合のみ、
-witnessing the battle, and my target is a wild beast
+witnessing the battle, and my target is a vile
 }
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 -- Page 230, Offset 27697.
 -- 選択されます」
-that is already beyond salvation."
+creature that is already beyond salvation."
 }
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 -- Page 231, Offset 27698.
 -- 「……とはいえ、遠野くんに助け起こされた時には半壊していましたけどね。
-"That being said... it had already been partially destroyed when you helped me up back then.
+"That being said... by the time you helped me up, it had already been partially destroyed.
 }
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 -- わたしの魔力が尽きないかぎり破損しない甲冑だったのですが、あの極寒と重槍の前に音を上げてしまったようです」
 That armor was supposed to be impregnable so long as I still had magical energy,
- but unfortunately it gave up the ghost in the face of that extreme cold and his massive lance."
+ but unfortunately it seems it couldn't keep up in the face of Vlov's extreme cold and massive lance.
 }
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@@ -258,7 +258,7 @@ The armored outer shell may have been broken,
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 -- 「アルクェイドの爪っていうと……」
-"Arcueid's claws... can you give me some context for that?"
+"And how strong are Arcueid's claws...?
 }
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@@ -268,7 +268,7 @@ The armored outer shell may have been broken,
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 -- 耐刃、耐火、耐毒、耐衝撃、耐神秘。
-Anti-blade, anti-fire, anti-poison, anti-shock, anti-arcana.
+Slash resistance, fire resistance, poison resistance, shock resistance, arcane resistance.
 }
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@@ -295,7 +295,7 @@ Is that really what had caught your eye, Tohno-kun?!"
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 -- 「そりゃ見ますとも。
-"Of course.
+"Well, of course it is.
 }
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