Dev Joke

Send me a PR if you know a good Dev Joke.

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walks UDP package into bar A.

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I would tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you will get it.

Either way, I don't care.

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If you wanna know what the "true friend" is... it's simple. look at the developer with QA

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var war; Declaring a war :)

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Question - What will be the name of the movie on a sad developer?

DEVdas

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A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

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Question - How did the developer announce her engagement?

this.engaged = true

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Question - Why is the Javascript developer sad?

Because they do not Node how to Express themselves.

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Question - How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

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My code never have bugs, it just just develops a random unexpected feature

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You console it.

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Question - Why couldn't the React component understand the joke?

It didn't get the context.

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Question - Why did the JavaScript developer leave?

Because she didn't get arrays

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Question - What is the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.

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A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

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Question - Why do functions always break up?

Because they have constant arguments.

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Question - Why do programmers get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

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Question - What is programmer's favourite hangout place?

Foo Bar

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Question - What kind of doctors fixes broken websites?

A URLogist

-Knock knock -Unsynchronized block -Who's there?

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Question - Why does no one likes SQLrillex?

He keeps dropping the database

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Question - How did the html get drunk?

It had too many

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#pisa-tower {
  font-style: italic;
}

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Question - You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?

You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?
You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?
You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?
You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?
You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?
You know the joke of the guy who forgot to increase the variable in his while loop?

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Question: Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards ?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

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Question - Why did the developer die in the shower?

He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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Question - Do you know the definition of an engineer?

Yeah, somebody who makes precise guesswork based on unreliable data provided by people with questionable knowledge. Never wrong. Likes tables.

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Question - Why fish don't like React?

Because it has Hooks 😂.

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Question - How long does a loop last?

For a while

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Question - How do I solve these errors my friend?

Just close the console windows, you wont see any errors.

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Question - What if your boyfriend is a programmer?

She: I told him to call me. He: He asked me about my parameters and return type.

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Question - What did the developer said to the repository?

FORK YOU!

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Question: What do you call the security outside of a samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

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Question: Why don't fish like React?

Hooks!

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Question: Why does Python live on land?

Because it's above C-level

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Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?

They are both useless when you open windows

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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

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Question - Who is a programmer?

Answer: A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have , in a way you don't understand.

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Question - Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Answer: Because they can't C# !

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Question - How do functions break up?

Answer: They stop calling each other.

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Question - 0 is false and 1 is true, right?

Answer: 1

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Question: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: None – It’s a hardware problem

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He: You're semicolon to my code ;)

She: I code in Python!

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Question: What is an algorithm?

ALGORITHM(noun) - Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.

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1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix.

the rest is used by rm -rf node_modules && npm install

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Debugging: Like the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.

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Behind every good program is a frustrated programmer.

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Sharon: I'm facing error

Daniel: close the console window

Sharon: and now ?

Daniel: that's it
the error is gone

Sharon: 😐

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Being a Programmer and watching someone HACK a computer on a TV show is like a nurse and watching someone in the movie take blood with a carrot.

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Programmer 1: We have a problem! Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx! Programmer 1: Now we have two problems.

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She: I told him to call me

He Asked about my parameters and return type

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Yesterday I changed the name of my Wifi to "hack if you can"...

Today I found it named "challenge accepted"

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My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

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Trying to fix the problem I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when there was a problem

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A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread.

“They had eggs.”

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“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very... long... pause...

“Java.”

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Conversation between layman and developer

• layman: Hey! What's your address
• developer: 173.168.15.10
• layman: No man. Your local address
• developer: 127.0.0.1
• layman: I mean your physical address
• developer: 29.01.38.62.31.58

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A journalist asks a programmer

what makes the code bad ?

NO COMMENT

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There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.

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if (coding) {
  headphones = true;
  focus=100;
  conversation = null;
}

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Pointers in C be like

"I know a guy who knows a guy... who knows another guy"

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Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

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• Knock, knock

• An async function

• Who's there?

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What do the new MacBook and a black hole have in common?

There's no Escape!

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Question: Why was the JavaScript reality show cancelled after only one episode?

Answer: People thought it seemed scripted.

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Question: What's did the Git engineer ask the waitress for?

Answer: A fork.

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One man's constant is another man's variable

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Question- Me: My screens turns Blue, Mom : Fool,u deleted System32!

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• Can you make me a coffee?
• Nope, I'm busy
• Sudo, make me a coffee!

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A tee-totalling programmer attends the office Christmas party. He asks for null wine.

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Question: What are the similarities between java and javascript? It's just like , CAR and CARPET(CAR-pet) {JAVA and JAVA-script)

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Android: where ProgressBars go around in circles and Spinners don’t spin

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What did the Python say when he came out of his shell? Print("Hello World!")

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I showed my 12 year son aa floppy disk.... He said "ohh nice!! You have 3-D printed the save icon."

All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors

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Algorithm :

Words used by a programmer when....

they don't want to explain what they did.

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I had a problem earlier, then i started using Java. Now I've a ProblemFactory.

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Vehicle got breakdown in middle of road , driver calls owner. Owner a developer himself replies "clone ,apply Hotfix and merge"

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"Don't call me, I'll callback you. I promise!"

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An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: “Can I join you?”

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Friend: you both look like a cute couple!! where did you find her? tinder or insta? Me: GITHUB

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"your dog ate your coding assignment?" It took him a couple bytes

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I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

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Who is a programmer?

Answer: A machine that turns coffee into code

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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. It's a hardware problem.

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Python and PHP.

One of these two is one of the most popular choices of backend programming. The other one is PHP.

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Dad: So what do you want to do when you grow up?

Kid: Engineering

Dad: Oh great, so you want to become an engineer?

Kid: No, I want 4 more years to decide what I want to do

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A successful programmer is a PRO in GRAMMAR!

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Question - For what reason do software engineers consistently stir up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer: Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25. !

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A journalist asked a programmer:-what makes code bad? Programmer:- No comment

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Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

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Chuck Norris don’t need passwords to access your system, he simply types * and system gives him access.

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Question - Why integration testing is required after unit testing?

Answer:

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